Right back where I started from

What a year.  Today I went back through the weight loss charts I’ve been keeping since last October and…throughout the year I lost 33 lbs.

Woo-hoo, right?

Not quite.  None of those lbs stayed off and I never lost more than 14 in one consecutive stretch.  It was usually lose five, gain four; lose 6, gain 8, etc, etc.

I’m not feeling depressed about it, but it does make me go “wow…where could I be if I’d been more committed?  What (that I’ve eaten) in the past ten months has been more important than getting my health in check?”

Vanity, shame and guilt are only temporary motivators. Even the knowledge that “someday” I’ll have medical concerns (and honestly, I have a bunch already) is not a permanent motivator for me, probably because those motivators are based on feelings, which change so often.   I keep thinking about a line from Pride and Prejudice, when Elizabeth is talking with her father.  They’ve discovered that someone has stepped in a paid a great deal of money to cover up a potentially embarrassing family situation. The father says something along these lines…“I’m heartily ashamed of myself, Lizzie.  But don’t worry…the feeling will pass…and probably sooner than it ought.”  It’s the totally honesty in that quote, that he probably won’t feel ashamed for too long because he’s been bailed out…that’s what’s got me intrigued.

I’m questioning whether I really need something to motivate me.  Don’t get me wrong…I’m not at that stage where I’m soooo disciplined that I don’t need “motivation” to keep me going.  What I’m talking about is this…I’ve had a ton of good reasons or motivating factors for losing weight in the past year, but I think I’m beyond those now. I think what I’m learning is that I don’t need something to motivate me, I just need to commit to change. I just need to be obedient to what I know God has for me.  When I eat healthy, when I exercise, when I get enough sleep, I am better equipped to handle what God has called me to…motherhood, my role as a wife and even more, my “role” as an ambassador for Christ.  I do none of these things well when I’m rolling in gluttony.

I heard recently that the Bible has more to say on gluttony than it does on sexual immorality.  I don’t know the accuracy of this, however…I have NOT looked into it yet.  However, I will spend the next two weeks doing a word study on gluttony and let you know at the end of the time what I’ve discovered.  In the meantime, I’m not going to think about my temporal reasons for losing weight, but I’m going to focus on being committed no matter how I feel.  Kind of a new endeavor for me, as far as food is concerned.  I decided this past week that one of my favorite pastimes is lying in bed, reading a diet book while eating a bowl of cereal. 

I’m also revving up to do a sugar detox.  I’ve been sensing God calling me to it and I’ve been stalling.  Then last weekend a friend told me about when she did a sugar detox two years ago…it was the confirmation that I needed.  My plan is to start next Wednesday, so please pray for me for the detox from the 19^th to the 24^th.  I’ll let you know next week how it’s going, even though I’ll only be on day two and I’ve heard it’s days four and five that are the tough ones.