Welcome to part 3 of Lorrie’s latest writings on marriage!  It’s January and many of us are full of resolutions  and good intentions; one area you’ll definitely want to commit to improving (even a good marriage can be better and a great marriage more spectacular).  Arguments about holiday bills, lack of sleep over the holidays, and general weather blues can attribute to poor communication between spouses. So this month, we want to remind you that when it comes to your marriage…Learn to Listen!

 Straight Talk on Marriage, Part 3

Mrs. Lorrie Flem

 For true communication in your marriage and for real relationship building to occur, then when one of you is talking the other obviously has to listen. One of the main reasons couples divorce is because they lost the ability or never had the skills to communicate with one another. Poor listening skills lead to the breakdown in communication in a marriage. This week talk with one another about how you can both be more effective and life-giving listeners. If your spouse wants to communicate with you, stop what you are doing so that you can give your spouse your full attention.

• When talking with your spouse, maintain eye contact.
• When you don’t want to be distracted while talking with one another, choose a neutral location to have your conversation.
• It is important to remember to listen to one another without interrupting.
• Don’t jump to conclusions about what your spouse is saying.
• If you need clarification of what your spouse has said, ask questions, but don’t point fingers.
• Respond without being critical of what your spouse has said.
• Be affirmative and supportive.
• Decide together to make time to have alone time with each other on a regular basis — preferably once a week.

 Don’t interrupt, use non-verbal communication, keep an open mind, stay focused, and have fun with each other! Remember, he’s not the enemy!