By Mrs. Kimberly Lacey

My wonderful husband and I have been married for 14 years this February.  And I love him as much this year as I did the first year.  Our marriage is a good thing, something that I treasure.   I am extremely grateful for it and never want to take it for granted.

But I have seen first hand what can happen when you take a marriage for granted.  Sometimes it is like a hurricane; you know it is coming, building up speed until it finally crashes onto land.  Other times it is like a tornado, forming unexpectedly at a deadly force.  Either way the results are the same: wide-spread destruction.  No man is an island and no divorce touches just one person or even just the one couple.  It is a ripple effect, spreading the pain outward from your heart, to your spouse and children, on to extended family and friends and relations.  No family ever truly heals from divorce, at least not in my opinion. 

I adore my husband and I want to take precautions to safeguard our marriage.  As Lorrie shares in one of her ebooks, I need to build the levees before the storm…so that when the winds begin to blow; our marriage will be fortified and able to withstand the storm.  

So when the Spring 2009 issue of TEACH magazine arrived, I was eager to read the articles.  The theme was marriage and I already knew that Lorrie had spent a great deal of time in prayer for this issue.  She really wanted to make a difference in marriages across America.  Lorrie wanted hearts to be touched, marriages to be strengthened and hopefully saved from the brink of divorce.   Article after article struck a chord in my heart.  The wisdom and encouragement from the submitting authors taught me ways to be a better wife and mom.    I would like to summarize it in the words of Amy O’Quinn:

-          Yes, the “me of now” could certainly tell the “me of then” a thing or two! But now that I think about it, here’s the simple advice I would give: Look to the Lord. Love each other. Forgive each other. Build each other up. Put the other first. Season your speech and actions with grace, and pray, pray, pray! Enjoy every day together and make memories. Celebrate the milestones and cherish the ordinary days. The years will become sweeter because of it. Be thankful for your Prince Charming and bless him all the days of your life as you strive to live “happily ever after!”

The magazine reminded me to never take my marriage for granted.  After God, my husband should be my number one priority.  He shouldn’t have to compete for my attention.  I am to cherish the precious children that he entrusts in my care every day. They are his greatest treasure, as well as mine.  And I have been given the privilege of caring for them: loving, training and teaching them. 

There were two main marriage-builders that I decided to focus on.  The first was to build my husband up.  This was already something that came natural for me, thankfully.  But I wanted to make a conscious effort to make sure that I was doing it on a regular basis.  I want him to know that I am proud of him and that I appreciate the many things that he does for me and the children.  Along these lines, I also wanted to make sure I wasn’t tearing him down.  Was I being critical, unsupportive, showing doubt about his decisions?  If so, I was determined to stop. 

The second thing was to pray for my husband more.  Not just throwing up a prayer here and there as thoughts came to my mind during the day.  Granted, if the thought comes to mind, I am still going to pray for my husband.  But I felt convicted to go much deeper, to have a devoted time of prayer each day for my husband.  So I decided on a routine that would be easy for me to remember and would have no interruptions.  I decided that I would pray for my husband every time that I take a shower.  Where else am I going to find that kind of uninterrupted time, with nothing else on my “to-do” list competing for my attention?  It has worked out great.  It is now a special time where I talk to God about the love of my life.  I can pour my heart out to God about my husband’s emotional, physical and spiritual needs.  I can pray about big and little decisions that my husband is facing, about his role as husband and father, and his career.  Anything and everything.  

While on the subject of praying for your spouse, I have to share something very exciting.  A few days ago, I received the neatest thing that I can’t wait to try out.  Lorrie has come up with a plan called “Praying for our Husbands: 31 Day Plan”.  Each day has a very specific prayer for your husband and a Bible verse to back it up.  Here are two examples.

Day 6 – Pray that he would be forever captivated by my love.

Proverbs 5:18

            “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.”

Day 16 – Pray that he would be a man who enters into spiritual warfare.

Ephesians 6:11

            “Put on the whole armour of God that we may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.”

Exciting, huh? 

So after all I learned and was reminded of by reading the Marriage Issue of TEACH magazine, imagine my delight when given the chance to read Lorrie’s Marriage Bundle.  I was certain that she had lots more wonderful insight to share, so much more that I could learn from her.  By the way, a PDF of the Marriage Issue and the 31 Day Plan for praying for your husband are both included in this bundle.  I highly recommend both!

First, let me say that this bundle is HUGE!  It is amazing just how much you get.  I have read the articles and there is a lot of great stuff in there.  So many things that I can take and apply to my life, RIGHT NOW! 

Take for example, “Loving Your Knight in Shining Armor Even When He Doesn’t Shine”.   (Love that title, by the way.)  Lorrie uses humor, quotes, Bible verses, analogies and of course, insight into her years of marriage to help teach us how to be the wives that we ought to be.  I was so touched by Lorrie’s heart. I felt like I was having a chat with a dear friend, sharing her wisdom to help make my marriage stronger. 

Lorrie shares stories of women who destroyed their marriages through selfishness, always thinking of themselves before their husbands.  It is sad to read of these women, so sure they were in the right…until the damage was done and their family was torn apart.  But then Lorrie shares the stories of those who married for life and meant it.  The stories of women who determined to love and respect their husband and made a choice to take the word “divorce” out of their vocabulary.  These women weren’t perfect, nor were their husbands or their marriages.  But they made it; and so can we.  That is huge to me!  Yes, we can make it. Then Lorrie gives us a plethora of great ideas to not only make a marriage last, but to make it shine.

So, how can I put these ideas to work for me?  Make my husband my number one priority.  He should not have to compete with anyone else OR anything else.  Not our children, our homeschool, church activities, volunteer work, chores.  Respect him.  Compliment him.  Never criticize him in front of ANYONE.  No, not anyone!  Treat him like my Knight in Shining Armor and he will shine, in the confidence of my love and support.

Want another example?  How about “Roadmap to a Marvelous Marriage”?  God created us to be a helpmeet to our husbands.  So that should be our main career in life, to help our husbands.  We should build him up, encourage him, and submit to his authority.  Offer him help, reverence, love and submission.  Submitting is a big one.  God commands us to do it and he will bless us for it. 

Well, what do I do now?  Lorrie has given me the tools and I need to use them.  My husband is the leader in our home and I must remember that.  My job is to help him, not to control him or berate him or nag until I get my way.  My husband has a heavy load to carry.  He must deal with work and finances and projects at home.  He is responsible for a wife and children.  It is a big responsibility to be the leader, to be in charge.  And my husband needs to know that I am on his team and I am his cheerleader.  I want him to know that he is my hero; I am proud of him and believe in him.  He should never have to wonder if he has my love and my support.  Of course, he does have my love and support.  But I want to make sure that he always knows it, without a doubt.

I will just throw out a few more examples from the ebooks and ebooklets included in the Marriage Bundle.  In “It Happened on a Brooklyn Subway”, we learn of a true story that reminds of us God’s amazing power and ability to intervene.  In “The Right One”, those of you not yet married are reminded to never settle: wait for the right one.  The “75 Inexpensive Romantic Rut Cures” reminds us that it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you do something to keep the romance alive.  Just keep talking, laughing and celebrating life together.  “Shmily” is a favorite of mine, a tear-jerker.  Always find the time the show your husband how much you love him and do it OFTEN.  “What God says about Marriage and Love” lists lots of verses by topic, all having to do with marriage.  It would make a great Bible study.  “U.S. Divorce Rates” was a real eye-opener.  If you don’t fight for your marriage, no one else will.  Lots of people are making a whole lot of money off of divorce and the catastrophe that follows it.  A very interesting read!  “Marriage Tidbits to Treasure” helps you build that levee that I mentioned earlier to protect your marriage and family.  Learn to flee temptation at the very first sign of it.  Don’t walk, RUN!  The ebook, “Marriage – Quotes not Quibbles” was a big hit with me.  I just loved it.  You see, I love quotes.  They inspire me.  They remind of the important things.  They give me something to good to dwell on.  I have started a “Quote Book” of some of my favorites and like to post them as my FaceBook status.  So I was thrilled to find so many wonderful ones about marriage all in one place.

I want to mention the “Praying for our Husbands: 31 Day Plan” again.  In my humble opinion, this is one of the most important things in the entire bundle.  If you follow this plan for 31 days, it will become a routine.  You will form a new habit.  And what a great habit it will be!  As Lorrie’s bundle mentions: If you aren’t praying for your husband, no one is.  Wow!  Have you ever thought about that?  You want God’s hand in your husband’s life.  After all, he is leading your home.  So someone better be praying for him.  And who better than the one who knows and loves him more than anyone else?  Psalms 127:1a states “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it.” (KJV)

Are you planning to marry soon?  This bundle will help you prepare; start off the right way (God’s way).  Is your marriage good?  This bundle can help you make it better (build the levees before the storm comes).  Is your marriage in trouble?  This bundle will be like Lorrie taking you by the hand and leading you, one step at a time, back onto the right track.

Have you prayed for your husband today?