Archive for the ‘Donna's Diet’ Category

Hello Healthy Friends,

This week we set an all-time temperature record for the Seattle area.  Yesterday was officially 103, the hottest day ever on record (since 1891) for our area.  We’re in the middle of what we consider a heat-wave, although I know for other areas of the country the temps we are seeing (high 90s for several straight days) is really no big deal.

When it’s this hot, I don’t want to cook, I don’t want to exercise and actually, I don’t even really want to eat.  It’s just too hot for any of that.  Unfortunately, I am a mom and so cook I must, eat I must and exercise…well, I hate to admit it but I’ve hit the “must” stage for that, too.

Exercise has always sort of been one of those things that I “should” do…but usually didn’t.  In my 20s, I could get away with it.  In my 30s, the pounds crept on but still came off easily (with a little discipline).  Then the late 30s hit and this past year, my entrance into the 40s club.  And weight just doesn’t come off like it used to. 

When I exercise, I feel great.  My day goes better, things with the kids go better…because I go better.  Like I said earlier, exercise is no longer something I need to get around to.  It’s something I must do.  It is literally one of my body’s needs.

We moms are always teaching our children to distinguish between our wants and needs, aren’t we?  “No, you don’t need that Star Wars toy…” “Yes, you need to do your schoolwork….” Or “No, you don’t need a bedtime snack, but you may have one…”

How often do we ask ourselves to distinguish our own needs and wants?  I can answer for myself pretty easily…not nearly as often as I check my kids on it. 

I want to sleep in…but I need to work out this morning (or I won’t get to it).

I want to go though the drive through, but I need to give my family healthy food.

I want a bowl of ice cream before bed, but I need to take care of my body. 

Sometimes, we can give in to a want.  I mean, I am the last person that will ever say “I’ll never eat ice cream again” or something like that.  No, I will eat ice cream.  However, it’s time to distinguish between my wants and my needs.  I’ve been giving in to my wants a little too often these pasts, er….well, this past decade. 

What about you?  What do you want vs. what do you need?  Think about it and set a goal for yourself this week based on the following sentence:

I want  (insert your bad habit temptation here) but I need (insert your new healthy habit/goal here.)

Mine is easy…it’s the first one I wrote earlier.  I want to sleep in but I need to get up.  Exercise, as I’ve said throughout this article, is now a need of my body, not a want. 

This week I feel something I haven’t felt in a long time.  I feel…in control.

Not controlling.  In control.  There’s a difference.

Controlling is what I’ve been living the past…oh, probably most of my adult life.  Controlling describes what food was to me…it controlled me.  Even if I wasn’t eating it, it was controlling me…thinking about dieting, actually dieting, blowing the diet, not caring about dieting…food was controlling me in some way or another.

I’ve prayed about it, I’ve ignored it, I’ve accepted it, I’ve tried to analyze it, I’ve resigned to it and I’m tired of it.

This week, I don’t know what the difference is.  Part of it may be what the Lord is teaching me thru the book I’m reading (see July 16^th post about that).  Or maybe it’s because I’ve been really purposeful about eating healthy this week.  Or maybe, just maybe, after all the years of reading, trying, failing, succeeding, failing again, trying again…maybe it’s just all “clicking.”

Okay, before I continue on the self-psycho-analyzing trail, I’ll change topics.  I will keep you updated about the Spiritual & Emotional connection to my weight loss journey, but honestly, I’m still trying to figure it all out myself.

What I’ve done differently this week is this: I’ve just fed my body nutritious, fresh foods. I’ve gone heavy on the fiber (veggies and fruits), had my body’s requirements for protein, drank lots and lots of water (and I mean LOTS), and have abstained from all carbohydrates (except I’ve had a small red potato with lunch and dinner each day).  So far, it’s working.  I’ve planned all my meals so that I knew what I was doing (although I must be honest, I’ve had really basic, basic meals, so there wasn’t much “planning” required). 

Since finding out about my dairy allergy, I’ve really struggled with what to have for breakfast.  So I’ve been loading up on the carbs (pancakes, waffles, more pancakes, etc).  This week, I’ve been having oatmeal with a protein shake and it’s really made a difference in my mornings.  The shake helps me have sustained energy…something I’d been lacking in the past few weeks with my carb-laden breakfasts.

Tonight my husband had to work late so the kids and I went out to eat with my mom.  Even there, I felt in control.  Don’t get me wrong…I had a chicken burger and fries.  We were at Red Robin and as I told my mom “I don’t come to Red Robin for a salad.”  I enjoyed the meal, had just a few fries (semi-by choice.  I don’t know if it’s the whole “bad economy” thing or what, but our meals came with a very skimpy side order of fries.  I’m not kidding.  I had 4 and ½ fries on my plate.  FOUR AND A HALF.  The waiter put the plate down and I looked at him and said “Uh, we’re going to need a free refill on fries.”  Anyway, I digress…) So I enjoyed the meal.  It wasn’t a “oh, I’ve been good all week and I deserve it” meal, and it wasn’t a “what the hay, I’ll just eat whatever I want” meal.  It was a “this week is how I want to live my life” meal.  Making healthy choices each day, and then the occasional splurge.

Okay, so the fat donna inside of me wants to mock and say “What are you writing about being in control?”  It’s only been a week…aren’t you putting the cart before the horse?”  True, next week my blog entry may be about a week of failure, but I hope not.  I feel the Holy Spirit helping me.  And I feel myself cooperating with the Holy Spirit (except for Tuesday morning when I was supposed to get up at 6:20 to exercise.  I set my alarm the night before, but around 5:30 a.m. when I got up for a trip to the bathroom, I turned the alarm off and said “I’ll just sleep in this morning.” And I kid you not, at 6:20 EXACTLY my baby made a little crying noise…just enough to wake me but not enough to wake him.  It was a cry in his sleep.  I looked at the clock and laughed.  “Good job, God.  You’re trying to help me.” I actually said that out loud.  Then I turned over and smugly went back to sleep.)

I discipline my children when/if they ignore me like that!  But God gave me grace and let me sleep in…until 6:45 when the other kids work up for good. 

So, until next week, I am praying for any of you who are on the roller coaster that I’ve been riding for too long…

With his Help…

Donna

I started reading it kicking and screaming.  Well, okay, that’s an exaggeration, but I wasn’t excited about reading the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.  Several women I know have read it and loved it.  In fact, some of the women in my Bible study wanted to do it for next year’s study.  Although I didn’t know much about it, I knew I didn’t want to do it as my study…to me it would have been a “book club” book, not a Bible study.  So the group agreed to do something else in the fall, but for the summer, they are all going to read it and try to get together to discuss it.  So I got a copy and started reading. But I was feeling a little rebellious about reading it.

It took everything in me to get through the first two chapters.  I admit it…I had a bad attitude against the book.  In fact, I didn’t really “read” the first two chapters…I skimmed.  So to sit here and tell you what those chapters are about…I’m afraid I couldn’t do it coz I really didn’t pay much attention.  I think it was about how a woman is the beauty of God and how beauty is important and all women are meant to be “Captivating.” 

The book was not captivating this reader.

But I continued on, just so that I could be part of the discussion group – I always like a girls night out!  (By the way, it’s been six weeks and we still haven’t met for a summer get together. How ironic is that?). 

Enter chapter three, “Haunted by a Question.”  To sum it up, they point out that every woman, in some way or another, from the time she is a little, little girl wants to know “Am I lovely?”  They go on to say that if that question is not answered in a healthy way when we are young, we grow up to be either a Dominating Woman or a Desolate Woman.  By the time they get to the subsection “Indulging” (what happens when Dominating Woman or Desolate Woman’s needs aren’t met ,or rather, her question isn’t answered)…

…I was hooked.  I could barely put the book down.  It became that tug-of-war between wanting to race through the book and guzzle all I was learning or read it slowly and allow myself to absorb what I was taking in.  I decided on an in-between pace, purposely making myself set the book down after a couple of sections and think about what I read.  I haven’t yet gone through the steps that a “Wounded Woman” needs to walk through (with a journal, a prayerful attitude and a box of tissue) but I will.

How does this relate to Donna’s Diet?  I’m still trying to process that.  I could ramble on for pages and pages about what I think it means or what God is beginning to teach me through it but instead I’d rather wait until I can present my ideas in an organized fashion.  I have the smallest inkling about how it all relates…the idea that every woman, regardless of age, physical appearance, SIZE OR WEIGHT, is a captivating woman when she allows God to be in control and work through her.  It is our heart that makes us beautiful.  Sure, we know this, but do we believe it?  I don’t think I do.  I mean, if you asked me, I would say “Sure, I know it’s true and I believe it.”  But do I really?  Do I really, honestly and truly believe that God made me (no matter what I weigh) to be captivating…to invite people to know HIM through my life?  Do I believe that of myself?  Wait, yes I do believe that God made me to be captivating, but I am NOT captivating.  That’s the part I don’t believe.  He might have made me to be that way, but I am not living that way.

See, I started reading the book thinking the focus was on beauty and I thought “Isn’t this just another book that puts the focus on ME instead of on God?”  I dislike (can I go so far as to say detest?) Christian books that are nothing more than self-focused, self-help books.  That’s what I went into this book thinking I was getting.

But I was wrong.  It’s been so much more.  The authors have opened my eyes to see that focusing on myself to heal my wounds is not self-centered.  It’s about growing more in the Lord and when I can rest and say “I am captivating because I have a captivating Savior living in me” then the Lord will shine forth out of me.  When I can answer the question  “Am I lovely” with a “Yes because THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE SAYS I AM” then the focus isn’t on self…it’s on the Lord! Wow.  Twenty years as a Christian and I’m just now getting it.

 I must add…in NO WAY have I gotten from this book either of the following ideas:

1)      That I need to look a certain way (or be a certain size) to be captivating or

2)      That it doesn’t matter what I look like (or weigh) since I am created by God

The two ideas seem contradictory to each other but I have not gotten either of those impressions from the book.  Some of the ideas they put forth are very similar to ideas in Beth Moore’s Breaking Free and ideas I’ve heard or been taught elsewhere, but apparently this is the time in my life that God wants to illuminate these truths to me.

Okay, so that’s this week.  No straight diet stuff, but there’s a connection here to what God is teaching me.  I’ll try to follow up in a few weeks with more coherent thoughts about what I learn from the book.  Plus, I need to go back and re-read Chapters 1 & 2 with a proper attitude!

I lost 1.8 lbs this week…too bad it’s still part of the weight I had put back on during the whole Melatonin fiasco!

donna

If you follow my blog, you’ll know that a few weeks ago I was on top of Mt. Motivation.  I was enjoying daily exercise, I lost ten pounds in three weeks, and I felt good.

You might then have noticed that I didn’t post a blog last week.

How quickly one can go from the top of the mountain into the valley.  Within two week’s time, I regained ten pounds, stopped working out, was back eating fast food or processed food most of the time.  I had no motivation, no desire, no will, no inclination of any kind to do anything healthy and worst of all…I didn’t care.  I wasn’t “happy” to be back in the valley, but I didn’t care that I was there, either.  It was such an odd feeling of apathy.

What happened?  Was it laziness?  Was my short-lived motivation simply the “quick start” that you get when you start something new?  What was it?

Praise Jesus, I figured out exactly what was causing it.

I’ve never been a “good sleeper.”  It takes me a long time to fall asleep (my mind is thinking, thinking, thinking the whole time) and it takes my body a long time to relax. And to be honest, one of the little-talked-about-drawbacks of being heavy is that sleeping just isn’t comfortable.  If the bed is soft enough to absorb my weight, then I get a back ache from the soft mattress.  If it’s too hard, my hands and feet tingle (I think the blood circulation gets cut off). So, once asleep, I don’t stay asleep.  This is my normal pattern…now add in that a year ago I had a baby and I really haven’t slept much or well this past year.  I wouldn’t say I have insomnia, but if I had to self diagnose I’d say I have a “sleep disorder.”

Several people over the past few months and at different times have told me they take a supplement called Melatonin.  It’s a non-addictive, natural sleep aid.  I know quite a few people who take it regularly, although the bottle says for “occasional sleeplessness caused by insomnia or jet lag.”

So a few weeks ago, having heard so many praises about it, I started taking it.  And did it ever work!  I feel asleep quickly, slept through the night and it was wonderful. That was about two weeks ago.

Last Friday I told my husband that I felt like I was in some depression or something.  All I wanted to do was sleep, but it wasn’t that I was tired.  I had no motivation to exercise or eat well…everything I described earlier in this post. It was a strange, strange ten days or so and the veil wasn’t lifting.

My husband (who was home from work that day) told me to go scrapbooking for the day. On any normal day, my scrapbook supplies and I would have been out the door in six minutes flat, given the opportunity to go scrappin’ for a whole day!  But instead, I just said “Eh.  No thanks.”  That’s when Ed knew something was seriously wrong.  He told me to go shopping with my mom and literally had to pick up the phone and call her for me.  So I went, half-hearted, no, less than that…let’s say tenth-heartedly. 

After shopping, my husband had made plans for our family to go tour a Navy base that was having a free tour-the-boats event.  So we went and didn’t get home until late…after shopping and the Navy base, I was so tired when I got home that I forgot to take my melatonin.  Then on Saturday (July 4^th) we were also out late again and I forgot again.  By Sunday, my mood was significantly better than it had been in ten days. That night, when I went to take the Melatonin, it dawned on me. I started feeling this “depression” or lack of will just days after taking the Melatonin.  Then, when by chance I didn’t take it for a few nights, I was back to feeling better. I’m truly thankful that the Lord made it so obvious to me what was causing the funk I was in.

Now, I’m not a doctor so the point of my post isn’t to say “Do or Don’t take Melatonin.”  My point is simply to tell you to be aware…although Melatonin is available on the shelves of any pharmacy department, that doesn’t mean it’s great to take.  Like any other vitamin or enzyme or nutritional supplement you may choose to take, if you aren’t under the direction of a physician (MD or ND), do take caution.  Watch your body, mood and sleep patterns for irregular signs.  Chances are that you won’t have an adverse reaction to something, but do be mindful.  I hate to think of the deep pit I’d still be in if God hadn’t shown me the connection between the Melatonin and my funk.  It was a terrible two weeks.  While I’m feeling better (moodwise and energywise) this week, it’s still a trek back up the mountain and re-losing the ten pounds I’d lost and re-gained.  But I’m happy to report that while last week I didn’t post because I was in the Valley, this week I’m headed back onward and upward.

In the past 10 days:

Younger Son’s birthday.
State Homeschool Conference.
Father’s Day.
Daughter’s friend’s birthday.
Daugher’s birthday.
Son’s friend’s birthday.
Husband’s birthday.

Miracously, I have managed to stay the same (no gain, no loss), even though I haven’t worked out in the past ten days and my eating has been less than ideal.  I’ve been running around trying to get things taken care of and ready for parties and such.  I’ve eaten out more in the past ten days than I have in the past two months.  Yi. 

But I guess there are always times like this in life.  I’ve found that with a little preplanning, I could make it through times like this.  But that wasn’t the case this time.  Next year, I have to have a better plan to make it through May and June (I didn’t even add the May events into the above list, which would include my older son’s birthday, mother’s day and more). 

Anyway, I was doing so great working out and loving how my days were going.  Although I haven’t done anything in the past ten days, I’m not discouraged.  In fact, it’s only furthered my resolve to exercise each morning because my body is telling me it doesn’t like this no-working-out-eating-bad-food-business.  It’s telling me that it wants to go back to working out and eating better and that is all the motivation I need!  Next week’s post will include a report on my exercise and if I can get a pdf file attached, a list of meal planning.  But that’s a big “if”…

donna